As you may know, I haven’t posted anything in over a month. Since the start of my school year, actually. I am so so sorry. Not only to you, but to myself as well. I began this blog half a year ago as a different person – young, naive, ignorant and a complete book addict.
Throughout last year, I was so focused on reading and blogging that it became a huge part of my life. My grades started slipping, and I stopped speaking to my friends as much.
Despite that, I loved that period in my life. There were just so many books out there, waiting to be read, so many worlds lined up neatly on my bookshelf, just waiting to be discovered. It was so thrilling to see books land on my doorstep, and I loved the joy of opening the packages and squealing with joy at the treasures inside, as if Christmas came every week. I would browse every bookstore I came across, and my heart flipped every time I saw books that I recognised from the blogosphere. Every time I wrote a review, I felt a sense of accomplishment. Every comment that popped up spread a grin over my face and every nice thought I read gave me a warm fuzzy feeling. And as I gradually made friends with my favourite bloggers, I never imagined that I would ever want to give this up.
But the coming of the new year marked a the beginning of a new chapter of my life. Since school started, I’ve had to adjust, to a new environment, a more specialised selection of subjects, a new expectation from teachers and completely different social dynamics. I’ve always been academically inclined, and over the past two months or so, I’ve been under more collective pressure than ever in my entire school life. I feel as if I’m always struggling to keep up with my schoolwork, hanging on by a thread. I’ve had little time for sleeping, yet alone reading and blogging. I even started avoiding my bookcase out of guilt, which before, was my favourite spot in the entire house. Reading was becoming a part-time job, a small liability, and less about the escape and more about the expectations.
This is why I feel that I’m at the stage in my life where I have to put reading on the back burner, until I have the time, money and interest again.But I’ve put so much time and effort into my blog, and I don’t want this to be another project I’ve let fallen by the wayside. I’ve never thought much about personal blogs, but just writing this personal post has felt like a much needed breath of fresh air a metaphorical loosening of tense muscles and stress. After writing something (that isn’t schoolwork) for myself, I’m left with a very positive feeling. I think I have an idea for where this blog could be headed….
In the meantime, I want to leave you with two songs that I’ve been listening to recently. I’m not quite sure what genre they are…I can’t seem to identify what my favourite genre is. Perhaps it’s similar to one’s identity – there’s never a label that fits just right.
All About Your Heart – Mindy Gledhill: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tGsU4vuJAIo
Giving it Up for You – Holly Brook (aka. Skylar Grey): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIjpK5J2AtA